Who’s to blame?
What is it with people getting upset over children using foul language? What’s the big deal? If I had to guess I would say at least 75% of the adults in the US talk no better. The problem with parents today is they think children should do what I say and not what I do. I seem to recall hearing that from my own father even when I was a child.
Let’s look at this scenario – kids hear cussing from their parents, neighbors, and friends. They hear it on tv shows, Youtube videos and especially from their online gaming friends and foes. But the only one’s telling them not to cuss is their parents.
Funny thing, I just finished watching a video on Youtube with two fathers who were using cuss words like they were a natural part of every day language – hmm, come to think about it – it has become a part of every day language with at least 75% of Americans – higher percent if we count the children. Yes I’m guessing on the number based on people I know or have observed and blogs and videos I have read or watched. These same fathers were pointing out bad behaviors in their own children as well as the infamous daughter of Tommy Jordan. I had to laugh though when they mentioned that if they ever behaved like that in front of their own parents they would have got the crap slapped right out of them. Yet, here they are – still cussing and acting like they are all that. Guess all that head knocking didn’t work after all.
Even Tommy Jordan mentioned how when he acted up as a child his parents would tear his backside up in front of God and everyone – yet he still cusses (as shown on his blog and another video of his) and I’m most certain takes on a bad ass attitude in front of his own daughter.
The big problem here is parents blame the kids, society, and other parents. It is time to slow down here – step back – and take a good long look in the mirror people.
I’ve been a parent for 28 years and I’m here to testify that generally when children act a certain way 9.99 times out of 10 their parents – or at least one of their parents – acts the same way. Maybe even not the exact same way but guaranteed if the children are disrespectful they got it from their own parents. Including my own children.
It’s time to get real parents. Quit blaming your children’s bad behavior on other people and look at your own behavior. It may not even be your behavior towards your child but children pick up on your behavior towards others. What children pick up on the most is your two faced behavior with them. If you cuss, smoke, do drugs, or drink alcohol and tell them not to do the same thing do you think they are going to respect you for it? Get real, and telling them they aren’t old enough isn’t going to matter. Even when they are older do you really think telling them they shouldn’t is going to make a difference?
Everything that has ever gone wrong in my own life and with my children I can honestly say was the result of my bad choices. Can you say the same? I doubt it – almost everyone I have ever crossed paths with will blame others for their misfortunes. Yes, there are some things you have no control over but even most of those things if you really think about it they would have never happened if you had made better choices. It’s time to grow up America and start owning the consequences of your bad choices.
Ok, I’m glad I got that out of my system. Now I’m not saying you need to change your wicked ways so your children will do better although it would be the preferred method – at least make attempts to make improvements in your choices. But in reality none of that is really all that important. As long as you don’t show one face to your friends and the general population and another to your children. You won’t earn their respect that way and after all – doesn’t respect that was earned last longer and mean more than respect that has been forced? If you don’t believe me look at the relationship with your own parents and ask yourself – is this the relationship I want with my children when they grow up? If you can honestly say yes, without any exceptions, then consider yourself blessed as I know I can’t and from what I know of many others neither can they.
I am as imperfect as they come and so are my children however, we don’t blame our mistakes on others. I own up to my bad choices especially to my children and teach them to do the same.
Just as important I teach them that there is a time and place for everything and moderation is very important. Are my kids perfect – nope – I, unfortunately have not been their only parent or role model and we went through a lot of upheaval in the past six years that created havoc in our lives and our behaviors but we are constantly working towards improvement and as long as I and my children continue to make improvements in our behavior then I know I am doing my job as a parent well.
Life happens people and if your child – especially teenager is acting up there is a reason and it is usually within their own home environment so instead of blaming the child or outsiders take a good long look in the mirror.
Referenced: Tommy Jordan http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl1ujzRidmU and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl1ujzRidmU
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