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Dating as a single parent can be like learning to ride a bicycle again. You don’t want to rush into it just to find yourself in yet another crash and burn incident. Dating is not going to be as simple as the first time around because now there is a whole new set of rules. You not only have yourself to be concerned about but now you have a child. Just like riding a bike, you want to be cautious and take is slow.
Good babysitters are essential to dating. Create a list of available sitters and keep it handy. Friends and family are the optimal choice, because if you cannot trust your friends and family with your child, then who can you trust? Ask neighbors for babysitter references and parents of children at your school or childcare.
Lessons Learned
Make a list of the lessons you have learned, such as what I over looked in the first spouse. More times than not, the negative signs were there about what kind of person someone is when you first meet but they get overlooked because other signs may be more predominate. Yet as time went by, these signs became more noticeable and annoying. Recognize characteristics that you can and cannot live with in a partner.
Friends First
Unless your goal is something other than finding a new life partner, take time to become friends before rushing into a physical relationship. It’s like building a house on sand. If you don’t have a solid foundation, your house is going to sink. Friendships are the strongest foundations for a lasting relationship. Think about it; your ex-spouse treated his or her friends better than he/she treated you. Often times, we get caught up in the euphoria of lust and overlook qualities that are important to whether or not the relationship will last.
Take time for you. Do not feel guilty for taking time away from your child. Although our children are important to us, having a life outside of the children is also important. And like the old saying goes, “If mama isn’t happy, nobody’s happy.” Plan ahead for your date or time to socialize and interact with other adults.
Where to Find Singles
While the Internet is flooded with dating sites, connections are easily made where single people go. Find singles events in your local area. Check with churches and groups like Parents Without Partners. Also check your newspaper for community events.
Introducing New Friend to Child
Knowing when to introduce your new friend into your child’s life is a personal choice, but a gradual introduction can help reduce unwanted stress. It is never wise to bring a new person home right away. Children may either rebel or try to rush the relationship. Before you bring your new friend home, take day-trips with the child together with your new friend to events such as the zoo or playing in the park. Give the child time to get to know your new friend gradually.
It is always wise to do a background check these days as well. Go to your states Department of Corrections page and see if they have an offender search option. This provides information on criminal records that involve prison but may not provide information on misdemeanors. Check here to find your states sex offender list.
Although the perfect person does not exist, there are steps you can take to help find the person who is perfect for you. Understanding characteristics that you cannot live with or without is important to finding your perfect mate. Do not rush into another mistake. Take time to get to know yourself and your new friend. Most importantly, get out and have fun. You deserve it!
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